The worst thing about Chiropractic is the fucking weirdos. The weirdos taint the whole fucking profession. If someone goes to one weirdo, they think the whole profession is the same way. Which is the farthest thing from the truth.
The basic reason why there are weirdos in chiropractic is because when it first came onto the scene, nobody really knew what was going on. So they made some shit up. All that matters is if you help people. But… instead of adapting with science and the times… they hung on to these stupid ideas that make no real sense. And from there, the weirdness just multiplied. That and people, especially dumb people, are gullible as shit. Luckily, these fuckers don’t hurt people like bad medical doctors or bad psychiatrists. They just accomplish nothing instead and drain your pockets.
So… how do you spot these weird fucks? Well, luckily for you, I provided a nice list of red flags. There are so many chiros out there that if any of these things popped up during your search or first visit, I would run for your life and GTFO.
Most of these should be common sense but… you never know…
Try to Sign You Up for Long Term “Packages”– Can these dumbasses some how predict the future and know you need 3x a week treatment for the next 6 months? Unless you are signing up for a package because you want regular maintenance/wellness care… then this is stupid as fuck. We have some patients that get better in 1 treatment and some that get better in 100 treatments. There is simply no way to know for sure.
Talk about Innate Flow and God Healing You– Innate flow started as the “reasoning” for why an adjustment can do some weird, beneficial shit. Unfortunagely for the innate flow crowd, something called science and research came along and decided it was a bunch of bullshit. But the dinosaurs and idiots hang on on to this stupid notion and won’t let go.
Maximized Living- If you see these words anywhere in the clinic… run. GTFO.
Advertise that They X-ray Every Patient- Unless you have trauma (fall, car accident, ect) or have weird symptoms or have experienced lots of treatment with no change in your problem… X-rays are generally fucking worthless. I can count on zero hands the number of times X-rays have been useful. Looking for places to adjust on X-ray? Stupid and impossible.
We Need to Fix the Curves of Your Spine- There is no correlation between spine curvature and pain. Oh, you neck is a bit straighter than it should be? Who gives a flying fuck? All the “fix the curve” people are doing is trying to suck you into a long term care plan.
Subluxation.. The Silent Killer- If you see this on their website, in their clinic, or they mention it… GTFO immediately.
Only Adjust Certain Areas (typically, co-c1/atlas-axis/upper cervical only or sacrum only)– This is so fucking stupid.
Use an Activator or Some Other Adjusting Machine Only- Useless for healthy, normal people. May.. MAY have a use for the elderly or babies but not for most people.
Use an Artho Stim Only– Useless.
Try to Adjust Your Cranial Bones– Give me a fucking break. Unless you are a small child… those babies are fused as a motherfucker. You ain’t moving them and even if you did… who gives a fuck? Ask them for research on moving cranial bones and watch them break out in the cold sweat. Then GFTO.
Use Koran Specific Technique (KST)– This has to be one of the stupidest and most useless technique I have ever seen. If you meet one of these docs, punch them in the face and GTFO.