Godzilla (2014) Review

godzilla poster

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Shadow’s Overall Rating: 7/10– When Godzilla was front and center, this was a 10/10. The lack of Godzilla drags this down to a 7/10, which may drop further on future views. But definitely see this once if you are a fan of monster movies.

Shadow’s Theatrical Rating: 9/10– Just due to Godzilla
Shadow’s Rewatchability Rating: 5/10– Just due to lack of Godzilla

Worth: Theater ($11) + used Bluray ($14) = $25

Rotten Tomatoe’s Rating: 72%, 6.6/10
Audience: 79%, 7.8/10

Five Other Reviews:
ScreenRant 
SchmoesKnow
Grantland 
DantheMan
– CosmicBookNews

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Plot in a Nut Shell: Some massive monsters wake up and start breaking shit. Godzilla is annoyed by this. Lots of human stuff you won’t care about. Godzilla and monsters RUMBLE, which  you will care about.

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Spoiler Free Thoughts…

– I am going to start with the positive as I usually jump on the negative train. Godzilla, king of the monsters, is fucking BOSS. His design is 100% perfect. He is fucking MASSIVE. He walks and swims around like he owns the planet. He seems PISSED that he has to be woken up to deal with shit. When Godzilla is front and center in this movie, it is 10/10 without question. When he finally gets to unleash at the end of the movie… YES! FUCKING YES! And THAT ATOMIC BREATH! When it is finally unleashed… YES! THAT IS WHAT I WANT FROM MOVIES! MAKE MY JAW HIT THE FLOOR!

– The other monster designs for the MUTOs were solid. I wouldn’t say spectacular as they did seem kinda generic but I liked the differences between the two and they were pretty cool. And their motivations made sense as well.

– The monster fight (yes, singular) that we actually got to see was epic. Awesome. Thank you, can I have another? No, actually I couldn’t :(.

– Godzilla’s roar… EPIC. Have you noticed a trend? Everything actually Godzilla related was perfect. The backstory with the hydrogen bomb was perfect. The explanation of what he could be… perfect. Godzilla… perfect.

– Not perfect (here comes the bitchfest)… NOT ENOUGH GODZILLA. Fuck man. For a movie titled Godzilla, even the MUTO got more screen time. It is one thing to tease, which they did well. It is an entirely different thing to see something awesome happening in the background… and then turn the camera away for absolutely no reason. I mean shit, at one point, Godzilla and MUTO meet… and the camera turns away and we don’t see shit. WTF IS THAT SHIT. That isn’t teasing. That is just being a dick.

– The human characters were simply not interesting enough to make up 80% of this movie. I understand the goal (Jaws like) but… come on! I came to watch Godzilla! Not “boring generic family” and “boring generic military.” There is a spot between Jaws (never see the shark until the end) and Pacific Rim (monsters/robots 90% of the movie to the point where the plot sucks). Godzilla just went full Jaws though.

– The human lead, dude who is playing Quicksilver in Avengers 2, shouldn’t get used to being a leading man in a movie. He is about as generic as can be.

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Spoiler Filled Thoughts After the Jump

– That atomic breath down the throat fatality… DAS IT MANE! YES! YES!!!!!! FUCK YES!

– I did enjoy the bird/insect-like small male MUTO and huge female MUTO idea. Very nature like.

– The “plans” to kill the monsters by the military were… awful. You have these giant monsters that can detect radiation and you decide you are going to try and race it to the coast?? With a train?

– When Godzilla and the smaller MUTO first meet in Hawaii… and the camera turned away during the fight… I was so fucking pissed. They EASILY could have given us a mini fight between the two before male MUTO realizes he is fucked and takes off. Instead, more useless human bullshit. Stuff like that dragged down the movie, especially on any re-watches.

– The first time the Japanese scientist guy said “Godzilla,” the whole theater chuckled. Well, the normal people chuckled. The annoying black people exaggerated the humor and I couldn’t hear what was said for 20 seconds afterwards as they competed for attention.

– “Let them fight” YES!! FINALLY FUCK YES YES!!!

– They probably shouldn’t have killed the only interesting human in the movie (the dad). Well, I liked the Japanese scientist guy just because explained shit but everyone else was expendable.

– The tail swat of doom by Godzilla to kill the flying MUTO… YES!!!

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