1. No Deadlifting/Rowing/Noise
– Mandatory. Sure, the plates are iron, the floors have rubber, and their would be plenty of room for at least one platform if they got rid of one glute machine. But don’t you dare do ANYTHING that will disturb the people watching TV as they walk at 0.5 MPH. How will they be able to here what is going on on TMZ if you are making noise lifting?
2. No Chalk
– The bars are slick as hell because they are cheap as shit. But don’t you dare think about using any sort of chalk.
3. Bent Bars
– I really do not know how bars get bent so badly at commercial gyms. You cannot deadlift or rack pull so they shouldn’t be doing it. No one there is strong enough to bend a bar squatting and doing rack lockouts on bench. How does this happen? Either way, it freaking sucks. Nothing is more fun than having a bar roll when you are doing heavy squats or front squats.
4. Gym Bros
– These people are so fucking infuriating. Douschebags high fiving each other after tag team bench. Wrist curls in the squat rack. Supersetting 15 things all together. High squats. High benches. Tight tank tops to show off their “muscles.” These fucks keep gyms alive and if they are not in my way I don’t really care, but at Gold’s they are EVERYWHERE and they are ALWAYS in the way.
5. Watching Trainers Rip Off People
– Personal training is just sad at most places and Gold’s is probably one of the worst. They have their people do the dumbest shit I have ever seen. I think there “certification” is probably going on Youtube and typing in, “dumb shit to do at the gym.” I don’t even want ot know how much it costs to spend 30 minutes hopping over stair steppers.
9 More Reasons After the Jump
6. Shit Hours
– Not 24 hours = shit hours. Not 24 hours = cannot do stuff in secret.
– Packed with people. Packed with machines. Packed with trainers. Packed with cardio shit. You can’t go 2 inches without running into something.
8. So Many God Damn Rules Everywhere
-Seriously. All over the mirrors. All over everything. No picture phones. Put collars on the barbells. No grunting. No powerlifting. Do this. Don’t do that. Every 6 inches on the walls there is a new rule. There are less restrictions in fucking prison.
9. They are a Bunch of Fucking Hypocrites
– The emblem of the place is a god damn steroid, trened up huge bodybuilding motherfucker. But good luck getting that huge in a gym like that.
10. No Gym Bags Allowed
– This is so annoying. Belt. Wraps. Notebook. Stop Watch. Pen. Jump Rope. Band. Would be nice to keep them in one contained spot when I am doing stuff. But nope, due to Gold’s Gym wisdom, I have to carry all that stuff individually and let it sit in a pile near wherever I am at, creating more mess than a gym bag would.
11. No Rooms to Warm Up
– There is generally one area where warming up (jump rope, mobility, stretching, ect) can be done. Unfortunately, 80% of the time there is a class going on in there or trainers are making people do some dumb shit in there. And due to the fact the entire gym is crammed to the brim with stuff, it leaves me off in some quarter trying to jump rope without hitting equipment or people. Yay.
12. People Going Through the Motions
– It is sad and demoralizing to go to the gym ready to kick ass… and all you see all around you is people who go to the gym do not even sweat. They never make themselves uncomfortable. Just walking around like they are zombies.
13. No Cameras Allowed
– I like to take videos of my lift. For log reasons and for the fact I can see from breakdown and such. That is not allowed at Gold’s because someone probably got their feelings hurt or some gay shit.
14. DB’s up to 75
– Laughable. Anytime Fitness has them to at least 100. 75? You can curl 75’s man.