2014 Shadow Awards!

Welcome to the 4th annual Shadow Awards!

This is where I rate the best of the best and the worst of the worst on various topics, mostly about movies of course. Once again, I can only rate what I have seen… so you won’t see some sappy ass shitty movie on here, but you will see Captain America.

The only movies mentioned that are not out of DVD yet are The Hobbit 3. There are some Hobbit spoilers and they are in RED so you can avoid them if you want.

And here… we… go!

Best Movie, Best Sequel: The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies
– There was only one instant “God Status” movie this year (although Winter Soldier is creeping up there with every viewing). Frankly, it would take an act of God to knock a Middle Earth movie from the top shelf. This movie delivered on an emotional level and more importantly… on a visual/action level. While The Hobbit trilogy is no Lord of the Rings… it is still one of the best trilogies ever.

#2: Captain America: The Winter Soldier
#3: The Raid: Berandal
#4: X-Men: Days of Future Past
#5: Guardians of the Galaxy

Best Comic Book Movie: Captain America: The Winter Soldier
– This is literally one of the best comic book movies ever. Everything about this movie is on point and it sports some of the best action scenes you will find from the word go. There are at least four memorable action scenes in this movie.
– Runner Up: X-Men: Days of Future Past

Best Original Movie (Not a Sequel): Guardians of the Galaxy
– Funkiness on screen! This was one of the most unique movies out there in many ways. Tons of great moments and it was downright hilarious at times.
– Runner Up: Edge of Tomorrow

Most Surprising Movie: Edge of Tomorrow
– Time Travel. Time Cruise. Exoskeletons. This movie should have sucked balls and been another Oblivion. Instead, it is a must see at least once and surprised the hell out of me.
Runner Up: The Lego Movie

Worst Movie: Noah
– Mother of God this was a horrible, depressing, boring as fuck movie. When the main plot is, “should I slaughter these babies because God is being really vague as fuck right now…” ummm, no thanks jeff. They even found a way to make rock angels borings as fuck and lame. ROCK ANGELS!
Runner Up: Maleficient

Biggest Disappointment: The Amazing Spider-Man 2
– A Spider-Man movie should not be this hard for fucksake! This movie had one of the most iconic moments in Spider-Man history with the death of Gwen AND had Spider-Man’s arch enemy… and the movie fucking wasted it all but throwing in numerous shallow villains, rushing Green Goblin, wasting time setting up some universe that will never get off its feet, wasting too much time with love shit… FUCK ITS SPIDER-MAN IT ISN’T THAT HARD FUCK!
Runner Up: Transformers: Age of Extinction due to lack of Dinobots

Best Hero: Captain America in Captain America: The Winter Soldier
– The dude not only defended himself from the Winter Soldier… he defended America’s and the World’s Freedom!
Runner Up: Godzilla

Best Villain: Azog in The Hobbit
SPOILERS FOR THE HOBBIT DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN THE MOVIE OR READ THE BOOK
– Azog’s stated goal in life was to end Thorin’s line and the line of Durin. He then proceeded to kill Thror, Thrain, Fili, Kili, and then Thorin. Sure, he needed to kill Dain next, but since the movie didn’t touch on the fact that Dain was next in line, then… Good Job Azog, you succeeded!
END SPOILERS!
Runner Up: Koba in Dawn of the Planet of the Apes

Worst Villain: Shredder in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
– He looked ridiculous. The motivations were terrible. He was kind of a bad ass, but come on… all that armor shit wasn’t necessary at all.

Best Fight: All of The Raid 2
– The best fight was the last fight in the kitchen… but if I were to list each fight individually, the whole top 5 would be The Raid. the fights are just fucking brutal as hell. The kitchen fight, fight against baseball bat man and hammer girl, bathroom stall fight, car chase fight, mud fight… I mean FUCK MANE.

#2: Captain America -vs- The Winter Soldier: This includes both fights, the elevator scene, Cap vs Quinjet, and Cap vs Batroc. Fuck this was a great movie.
#3: Thorin vs Azog
#4: Caesar vs Koba
#5: Godzilla vs MUTOs

Best Single Scene: Godzilla Throat Melt in Godzilla
– HOLY FUCK! That one scene almost made up for a giant cock tease of a movie. We all thought we were getting a awesome but done before jaw rip off but now… BRB MELTING YOUR THROAT!
Runner Up: Thanos “I will bathe the star ways with your blood” in Guardians of the Galaxy

Biggest Regret Missing: The Equilizer
– I just didn’t have time to see this movie and then I blinked and it was gone from theaters. It looks absolutely right up my ally and I will be checking it out as soon as it hits Red Box.

Best Comic Book: Avengers/New Avengers
– Hickman has dragged this story out for years but each time you start to fade away, he drags you back in with epicness. He now just needs to stick the landing in March to complete this giant arc.
Runner Up: Uncanny Avengers

Best Training Log: Rjorg on Lift.net
– Natty, raw lifter who is strong as fuck, actually updates consistently, answers questions, same size as me (but 100x stronger), post videos constantly… das it
http://www.lift.net/community/blog/27-iron-grind/

Best Youtube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/user/schmoesknow
– Only for the actually schmoesknow duo. Best reviews that I have found on the internet. I can’t stand the rest of the people on their podcast though.

Fish Picture of the Year:

There is something about this fish man. I don’t know what it is but it is awesome.

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