Category Archives: musings

MoS Musings #42: Lack of Posts Due to Moving Again

– The blog has been deader than normal due to the fact I have been extremely busy moving for the second time in 8 months. Also, due to the move, I don’t have full internet access at the house yet, so I am unable to make posts are home. So, combine that with being really busy at work and the blog as been short changed a bit.

– For awhile there, I was “chasing’ larger and larger viewing numbers. Trying to make posts as soon as “something” happens ala like the Momoa Aquaman news. This isn’t that type of site. I would like to be a bit more timely with my movie reviews but other than that… I post shit when I post shit and I don’t really care if posting it earlier would get me 100 more views.

– That is all I got. Expect more fish stuff soon, pokemon update, and comic book stuff soonish.


Musings #41: Trimming the Fat

– No, I am not talking about losing weight (although I need too…).

I am talking about getting rid of the little shit I do everyday that take up little bits of time that really don’t bring any value to my life. Little shit that distracts me from doing the important stuff during the day (like this blog of course!).

For instance… checking forums. I will check IA’s forum like 20 times a day… for no real apparent reason. Maybe because it is on tapatalk and I can check it easy? But anyway, IA’s isn’t a very fast moving forum. Their aren’t a lot of posts in a day (or week sometimes…). Why do I need to check it 20 times? Makes no since, is stupid, and it distracts me from other shit I need to do. And it isn’t just that forum. Also talking about blogs I check constantly even though they update maybe once a week. If I would just check it once a week or even once a day, I would save myself a shit load of time to put towards shit that actually matters.

More trimming the fat… reading lifting posts/forums/blogs/articles that have NOTHING TO DO WITH ME. Why do I care about some post by some guy who couldn’t gain an ounce of muscle or bench 250 until he went on TRT (happens all. the. time. now). What use is he to me and my training? What can you really tell me? That steroids make you stronger? So why do I waste time reading his shitty little post or shitty little journal or shitty little article where he says all the stuff that helped him (without mentioning the hormones)?

Why do I care to read powerlifting drama on some forum? Why do I care what some 6’5 325lb super strong jacked guy posts in an article on getting strong when he probably benched 315 at 10 years old?

I am of course being overly dramatic and very sarcastic. But the simple fact is, I have read thousands of posts, blog posts, articles and could probably count on two hands the ones that actually helped me in the fucking slightest. So why waste my fucking time with it?

More wastes of time… checking email more than 3 times a day. I have rarely saw and email and gone “damn, I am glad this came right to my phone right then!” Truth is, most of the shit I get in email is just that… shit. Checking facebook (truth is I ain’t on there much though) more than once a day… stupid.

Most of this stuff came about due to my incessant boredom at school. Stupid lectures that didn’t intrigue me left me sitting on the internet during hours and hours of class. So, of course I could “waste time” reading all this useless shit because I had time to waste.

Not anymore.

Take out school and enter a new job that has me working essentially 6 times a week. But really, due to it being a small business, you are almost always on the clock. I have a 20 month old who wants more and more of my time and I will gladly give him more and more of my time. I have a dog that I have to take outside personally instead of just opening the back door because I no longer have a yard. I don’t have a 24 hour gym anymore, so I have to schedule gym time into my schedule now.

So take lots of responsibilities (normal grown up shit) plus all my hobbies (lifting, blogs, reading, video games, movies, ect)… and that doesn’t leave a lot of time for fat in my life. Time to dump it and move on.

Musings #40: Why Do I Keep This Blog Again?

– Seriously, I have no idea why I keep this blog alive. Is it for my legion of followers that decline each month? All the advertisement money I make (0)? I really don’t know why I do it… I guess it is fun to talk to myself via blogger lol.

– One thing I am going to do is a bit of remodeling and deleting around here.

– First thing I am going to do is change how I do the movie reviews. They are too… structured and boring. As I rewatch movies I will slowly be changing them. The new format will debut with Thor: The Dark World Wednesday. It is goig to be more word vomit and less structure.

– Also being updated.. the links on the side. Half those training blogs are too inactive to be useful.

– Achieving Awesomeness = failure. My hours got longer and my free time got shorter. I actually have been a lot better about wasting my life away and I still do my push ups and stretching but the whole concept was a fail.

– The best thing I did do was get rid of cable. I do miss football and basketball in HD (grainy stolen feeds ftw) but I don’t miss mindless tv shows and ten thousand advertisements and commercials.

– So I am moving for sure so that puts the meet in doubt. I need the day that I lift to be on Sunday because I wouldnt be able to make a Friday weigh in. I may just do the meet based on what groups are Sunday vs Saturday. If it is the lightweights Sunday, I will go in at 181. If it is the heavyweights Sunday, then I will weigh in at 182 and compete in the 198s. That is if, big if at this point, I can afford it. No fuck it, I will find a way to afford it. Need tonot keep that “out” or I won’t do it.

– So I am interning right now someplace and my god are people disgusting. Half of them smell like absolute garbage. Most are just trashy individuals in general. I am talking about going to the club when you have 4 kids at home trashy. Or have your nails did but are on food stamp trash. Makes me absolutely sick to be around these people, pretend to nice andinterested in what they have to say, and really carevabout there well being. Ugh.

– If you saw how much school debt I am in you would cry. And other than a car payment on a civic… it is the only debt I have. And I am not someone who took 6 years to get my BS either. Sigh… oh well. Could be worse. Could be a lot worse.

– I was supposed to go to the gym today. Then I realized I left my stuff at home. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

– I am way way overweight right now. The worst week of my life put 10+ pounds on me fast. Just goes to show my more natural weight is closer to 200 and my future meet are eventually going to be at 198 for 2hr weigh in meets.

– I do not know why really dark people get “intricate” tattoos.. it just looks like they have been burnt…*shrug*

Mega Musings #39

– Do people still not realize you can edit your video length on Youtube? I am so sick of seeing a 3 minutes video of a lift, and 2:45 of it is just setting the camera up, getting hyped, and unracking the bar. It takes 20 seconds to shorten videos for Christ sake!

– I finally finished The Silmarilion. Took for forever. The first say… half of the book was one of the most agonizing things ever lol. The second half was much more exciting and I could keep the different characters straight much easier. It was cool to get a background on some of the well known characters but this book isn’t nearly as good as LotR or The Hobbit.

– So, after The Silmarillion crushed my mind, I am reading something much light: Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter.

– I finally bought the last two volumes of Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes. So I now have all of that series, all of the 90s X-Men, all of Wolverine and the X-Men, and all the short Black Panther cartoon. Next up is the big dog: Batman: The Animated Series. That series is so awesome that it is still pretty damn expensive for being 20 years old and a cartoon. And there are like 5 volumes so it will likely cost over $100.

– Can’t decide about how to train squats and deads for my upcoming meet cycle. Do I even train deadlifts at all and go with the WESTSIDE!!! method essentially? Do I do only speed work? Do I just say F it and train how I was training before and hope returning to sumo style will protect my back? Decisions decisions. I should probably worry about getting back to squatting without pain lol.

– Speaking of low back pain… I feel pretty good right now and have definitely squatted (heavy) with the very little pain I am experiencing now. Does that mean I go to the gym and load up 4 plates? Hell no because I just hurt it and it will just result in another flair up. I will put something on my back this weekend most likely if things keep progressing out they are progressing. Doubtful I go over 275 though (probably more like 245ish).

– Got slowed down a bit last week with the posting. I have been finishing up some school requirements which took up more of my time than usual. Typically, I will start a rough draft on a post while at the school and then finish it at night. But I didn’t have time to do the rough drafts so I never got around to getting any real posts done. Then I had to go out of town Monday for a job interview so another delay. PLUS because of my back I haven’t been doing workouts as often which equals a slower blog. Shit happens.

– I read Lilly’s new e-book. I was really disappointed. I think it is more geared for people who don’t read his training logs and other posts ever because it seemed like 90% of it was regurgitated and/or your typical “man up blah blah blah” Wendler stuff. Oh, and lots of half pages, big font, and big pictures. I think the book is like 60ish pages and only like 20 were worth reading. It was better than the first Cube book so for people who haven’t read that one might get more out of it.

– I got a shit ton of movie reviews to do, including Terminator 1, 2, and 3, World War Z, and some cartoons.

– NBA season is almost here and I am getting excited. The Indiana Pacers should be even better this year and it is good to be a true “competing” team. Anything less than 50 wins and a trip to the EFC is a HUGE disappointment at this point.

Musings #38: Achieving Awesomeness

– I was sitting on the couch one evening half watching TV and half sitting on my phone on the internet (when I have a laptop 5 feet away… stupid) and then thought to myself, “what the fuck am I doing?” I was wasting my life away minute by minute, hour by hour sitting in front of a TV I had no interest in and sitting on my phone refreshing the same fucking websites over and over again for no real reason. What a fucking waste of life that is.

So I told my life I ain’t doing this shit anymore and tomorrow, I am going to be Awesome. No more wasting my life away in a half daze zombie like state. I thought of 100 things I was going to do the next day: do mobility stuff, clean the garage, vacuum, give the dog a bath, read some, make some blog posts, play some video games, watch a movie, clean the cars, do some push ups, ect ect ect.

Guess what I did the next evening? Sit on my ass in a half daze once again.

Sure I was tired. Sure I had a long day. Sure the baby stayed up late. But I could have done ANYTHING but sit in a half daze accomplishing nothing. I am not saying I needed to read the Illiad or something. But even watching a movie is better than watching some shit show on Discovery. I enjoy watching movies, it lets me decompress and they are fun. Is there anything fun about watching half watching American Pickers for the 15th time?

The problem was, that in the quest to be Awesome, I decided I was going to do 100 things… and you can’t do that. All it leads to is being paralyzed by the options and sitting down and accomplishing nothing at all. So I need a new strategy so I can become Awesome.

And that strategy is simple. Pick one thing I am going to do every day each week. If I accomplish that task, I can add something else in. If not, I stay with what I had the week before until I accomplish what I set out to accomplish.

For example, let’s start with something simple. Let’s say this week, I want to do push ups when I wake up and before bed. So, for this week, I would wake up, do push ups, and do push ups before bed. Everyday for that week. If I accomplish that goal, I am one step closer to Awesomeness and I can add something else to do. If I miss a day or evening… I have to go another week with just the push ups with nothing else added.

Once I accomplish my weekly goal, I add something else for the next week WITHOUT stopping what I did the week before. So say, I now want to do push ups 2 times a day and read a chapter out of a novel. Same concept over and over and over until I am constantly doing stuff and I achieve Awesomeness.

Is this realistic? Fuck if I no. I will surely reach a point where I run out of shit to do but I doubt it. What is more likely to happen is that I become more productive with the free time I have and I spend less and less time wasting my life away. That is the goal of all this… to make every minute I have on the God forsaken planet count.

Does this make any sense? Probably not but it makes sense in my head so that is all that matters. And I don’t proof read my Musing ramblings so you probably just read on paragraph of what I wrote and assumed I was tripping on acid or something.

– I am going to keep a new page at the top called “Achieving Awesomeness” to keep track of how I am doing week to week. This week, I am starting with doing hip mobility/anti-butt wink stuff two times a day.

– I am also going to be adding a “Powerlifting Competition Results” page at the top pretty soon as well.

– I have like 40% of my Movie Reviews re-linked so it doesn’t link off site anymore. Just takes awhile and is tedious to copy and paste 100 times.

– Batman Arkum Asylum is a bad ass game.

– Preseason football is so stupid that fans should be payed to show up and watch that garbage.

Just a reminder that Thor is a BOSS

Monday Musings #37: The Mind of Shadow is BACK


– Obviously, tMoS has been moved for the second time. changed their blog system to a more basic, linear blog-style and simply put… my blog is way too complex with the numerous pages and such to work on a system like that. So the options were really downgrade the blog into something less complex (aka boring) and keep it on LIFT or move it back to a blogging website. The choice was pretty simple so it is off to wordpress.

– One thing I have to do AGAIN is re-link all my stuff in the Fish Picture of the Month archive and my Movie Review archive. It links back to LIFT. That is going to take awhile once again. Oh, and I need nail down a blog design. WordPress teases you by offering all this stuff, until you click it and realize you have to pay. Not cool.

– I am going back to posting at least 7 posts a week. Lately I have just been posting training log stuff due to the meets and me being lazy as hell but it is time to get back to posting more movie news (a lot more… I have been really slacking), comic book stuff, and of course fish stuff.

– Just a quick post to say that The Mind of Shadow is back better than ever. Expect a movie review of The Wolverine TONIGHT! I also saw Pacific Rim last weekend so expect at least a Ratings Review of that followed by a true review pretty soon after. As Mario says.. Here We GOOOO!

Musings #36: 27 Thoughts Following My 27th B-Day

1. The blog will be back and better than ever starting next week. I got lazy with it due to doing other stuff but it is time for the Mind of Shadow to be awesome once more. It has turned into basically a training log only once I started competing but come on… that shit is boring. Movies + Fish + Comics + Lifting >>>> just Lifting.

2. I don’t recover from heavy singles as well as I used to. Both training cycles I hit a wall right after taking singles near 100%. I think whenever I do my next training cycle for a meet, I am going to take my near second attempt single like 6 weeks out, giving me plenty of time to recover from it.

3. Birthdays are dumb and I really don’t like doing anything for them. My Dad’s side of the family simply does not do birthdays. All I did was eat a bunch of crap food and go to a movie. Good enough.

4. I am glad I didn’t do USAPL RAW Nationals… if I totaled the same I did at my last meet, I would have gotten 19/23… embarrassing

5. USAPL Raw Nationals is probably the best pure meet in the country.

6. Fleas are awful.

7. It is like beating a dead horse, but it is so odd how many style of powerlifting there are. But to be honest, there are really only four types of lifting out there that has any competition involved… tested raw with sleeves, non-tested raw with wraps, USAPL single ply, and then multi-ply. All the other off shoots seem to be the trophy hunters to be honest.

8. When I see a video of someone not reaching depth on squats, I turn it off in boredom. If it isn’t to depth it isn’t a squat.

9. I really hope Wolverine is as good as the trailer makes it look.

10. My poor fish tank is stupid neglected. I am rarely in that room anymore since the baby has taken it over and honestly… I miss my giant tank.


12. Should be back in the gym, full bore today or tomorrow.

13. I don’t enjoy family functions at all.

14. The older I get, the more humanity disgusts me.

15. I don’t like 90% of the patients I see in clinic.

16. If you don’t wear deodorant, I hate you.

17. Nothing in powerlifting is more impressive to me than to see 45+ year olds still kicking ass. Shit, David Ricks JUST WON HIS CLASS AT RAW NATS! WTF?

18. I don’t train hard enough to accomplish what I want to accomplish. That is a fact.

19. I don’t know if my body would hold up to train as hard as I need to to accomplish what I want to accomplish.

20. I have yet to see the Avengers Assemble cartoon. I don’t think it can live up to A:EMH.

21. I have a horrible feeling about X-Men: Days of Futures Past

22. I wish Marvel’s cartoon movies were as good as DC’s.

23. The education system makes me sick in this country.

24. This country makes me sick.

25. I love Dairy Queen fruit smoothies. My wallet and body do not.


27. There is no way anyone read this.

Musings #35: Adding Quick Movie Reviews + Injury Update

– I watch a lot of movies and always don’t have time to do a proper review.

Or I just don’t get around it and 2 months later I don’t feel like reviewing it.

Or, I just saw it, and I want to see it again before I give a full review.

So, with that in mind, I am going to start just posting mini-reviews then if I get around to it, I will go back and review it proper. The links will still be in the “Movie Review” tab, I will just indicate when I full review is still needed. That way, everyone gets an idea what I think of a movie based on where I rated it, even if I didn’t really write anything about it.

Good compromise on my time. Especially with brand new movies and movies that are pretty old and no one is reading the whole review anyway.

– Knee is stuck in a holding pattern. Not bad enough to hinder anything too bad, but pretty damn painful. I have just been icing and icing and more icing really. I think some ART to the area would help (ART to menisci themselves, gastroc, distal hamstring, gastroc/distal hamstring tie in, peroneals, ect). But… that would require me to go through the clinic system, which would mean they would want to waste my time getting an X-ray most likely (no insurance) which wont’ show a god damn thing, then they would ask me to get an MRI (no insurance) which might show something but IT ISN’T GOING TO CHANGE THE FUCKING TREATMENT SO THERE IS NO GOD DAMN POINT! I am not getting surgery (no insurance plus would rather avoid it) so all this imaging bullshit is just bullshit. It won’t change anything. It isn’t like some ART will make it worse.

But… it is a school and schools are about as ignorant as the government so, I would rather just avoid the situation than piss off my boss (since, I would have to see my own clinician, I don’t want to tell my boss he is an idiot as a patient because it would effect me as an intern lol). I might actually pay to go to a Chiropractor in the area that is ART certified and see what happens.

– I am going to Disney this weekend for my son’s first birthday, but I fear how my knee will feel by the end of the day lol. Oh well.

– Nothing is worse than being in Florida when Miami is in the finals. God I hate bandwagon fans and this is the capital of Bandwagon, USA right now. Nothing is worse when fucking people who can’t name 20 players in the NBA start talking about what Miami should do or how good Miami is, or how the Pacers weren’t that good and this that and the other. And you can’t argue with them because they are so devoid of knowledge that they don’t know they are stupid.

The Pacers did what they could but damnit I wish Granger was available and damn it I wish DJ Augustine and Gerald Green weren’t a bust.

But at least this fucking tool is a Heat’s fan and not a Pacer’s fan. What do people like this exist? This picture makes me hate America… and yes he is at a Heat’s game. I hope the Spurs obliterate them just because of the fans.


Musings #34: Good-Bye Raw Nats

– So yeah, Raw Nats is a no go. My knee is still shit, although it is slowly getting better. I can get to depth now, but even doing a body weight squat feels… uncomfortable. I have full extension back in the knee but full flexion isn’t quite there and it is still swollen. This has just been odd in general and I really wish I knew what the fuck happened. I will just blame it on playing basketball outside, but shit… why was I normal for 40 hours and then boom… swelling and pain?

– This has all been pretty damn depressing and just continues my awesome pattern of taking 5 steps forward then something happens and I take 4.99999 steps back.

– I guess I will just fall back into “gym rat mode” and do what I want when I want at the gym. Just have a rough outline each day and go with the flow. If/When I do another meet, I don’t think I will ever try to “peak”… I will just figure out where I am at, take a week off, go to the meet and lift and come home. Peaking is for the birds. This article is awesome… Lilly is awesome:

– Not sure if I am going to loosen up the diet or try and get to and stay at 185. Both options are appealing (heavier = more food, 185 = da abz).

– Prolly gonna work on a hook grip now so I can go back to pulling sumo.


Musings #33: Injuries and Internet

– I woke up Sunday morning with a left knee that was the size of a soft ball with limited range of motion. I have no real reason why this happened. I did play basketball Friday morning, but I was fine the rest of the day Friday and all day Saturday. I tried going to the gym and squatting but even after doing a stupid long warm up, I could not get to parallel on a bodyweight squat without lots of pain.

I am pretty sure I tore my meniscus in this knee a long time ago (need imaging to confirm) but it generally doesn’t bother me too much when lifting because of the stationary aspect of the sport.

If I miss another squat session (and this weeks deadlifts) then I am going to seriously reconsider not doing the meet in July and look to do one in the fall instead. Sucks, but it is what it is.

– My right SI joint and piriformis have continued to be “meh” lately as well. No biggie just annoying.

– I have really cut back my internet time, hence the slow posting here. Simply put: I have better shit to do. Plus all the negative stuff all over the internet, no matter what the hell I was looking at, was slowly but surely making me hate everything about the internet.

– Another side effect of less internet time is less time in the back room, which means less time around my fish tank and neglect. But, with the light being off all the time, at least the algae is controlled lol.

– One of things I am doing with less computer time: reading. I have never been a big reader of novels but I used to read stuff here and there. I read the Hobbit last week in two days and started on The Fellowship of the Ring. Reading works from Tolkien is much better for my brain than some dumb blog comments.